Confiding in Others

When every day of your life is dominated by experiences with anonymous harassment, there is a constant desire and urge to tell others. And yet, this proposition is fraught with the peril that one will be dismissed, considered sick, or will be dismissed as "a tad odd."

Aware of these caveats, my partner and I nonetheless have carefully, and with much forethought and planning, told several close friends and confidants about being anonymously stalked and harassed, both verbally and electronically. Of course, we have told no one the full extent of this admittedly hard-to-comprehend scenario, but we relate what I think of as the "most likely to be understood" aspects of being stalked.

People we have told include:
1. Two close friends at my church
2. My partner's direct report and his supervisor
3. Two of my closest colleagues at work.

In each case, we have felt much trepidation launching these disclosures. But they all happened on the heels of a dramatic torturing activity that left me, quite frankly, suicidal. Folks closest to us knew we were dealing with something distressing and since my typical demeanor is calm, steady and optimistic, the people listed above were naturally curious about what was going on when my partner and I suddenly took off work so I could deal with this vicious attack and aftermath.

I don't say this without a lot of reflection, but in my opinion no one we have told does NOT believe us. Now, if I forthrightly explained a typical day in our lives, especially at the house where all manner of absurd bullshit is occurring almost every hour, our cred with these folks might be a big fat ZERO.

But I am thankful our story is out there, in limited, but judicious, fashion.

My deep hope and belief is that, one day in the next 20 years, this organized harassment will be exposed in a lawsuit by someone who manages to catch these motherfuckers at their perverse game. But until that time, the best we can do is:

1. Use this adversity as the most perfect opportunity ever given a person to deep dive spiritually, and to learn how one's integrity, perseverance, and humility can transform a nightmare into a true blessing and pathway for rapid personal growth. (I say this with all seriousness, as I have come to see nothing could have propelled me into the exciting, hopeful faith I now have in a Higher Power to help me literally transcend this hatred.

2. Describe our lives and our stories. Try to remain calm in the face of attacks and the various "freak out" tactics these sick people employ from time to time. But keep a detailed diary, and name names if you hear anyone's name being referred to during the harassment you hear. (My chief perps until recently have been Rick and Ron, and I delight in the possibility that one day I will find their names on a felons list.)

3. Consider your trials and tribulations in the context of the greater world of suffering and pain. I am alive, and I have joy and peace on a daily basis. I have learned that pressure cookers are where the diamonds emerge. And I am a diamond in the rough by now, on his way to pure brilliance. And a sad, pathetic collection of malevolent individuals must confront the fact that THAT has been their chief impact on this so called "Targeted Individual victim."